And now it’s like this.

Hi. I haven’t written a blog in a while. But this one woke me up.

9 years ago a friend introduced me to this phrase “and now it’s like this” and it was like a soothing balm that I got to put in my medicine cabinet of life – it even went and helped heal parts of me that had broken for a very long time, and it’s been something that’s helped in big and little injuries since. Sometimes physical ones sure, but the injuries I’m really thinking about are those life injuries, the ones where we feel derailed or off course, or as one coach once put it for me, “driving on the rumble strips on the side of the road.”

And now it’s like this is the thing you say when you realize you’re not at all where you thought you were.

And now it’s like this is the thing you say when someone has irreconcilably changed the nature of your relationship. Or maybe it was you who did the changing.

And now it’s like this is the thing you say when you are given news you neither wanted nor deserved, but now must deal with.

And now it’s like this is what you say when the pipe bursts or the house floods or the storm hits, and it is unfair and wrong and still exactly the situation you are in.

And now it’s like this is the thing you say when you find your body has gone and done something you didn’t have on the agenda.

And now it’s like this is what our brain needs to hear. Yes our brains need to hear it – from you – in your voice – however broken and defeated it is – out loud.  Our brains process from a different place than our souls, and while I can’t make sense of it, I know it’s true. Our brains must hear it. And now it’s like this.

And once our soul recognizes this and our brain hears the news, something new starts to churn within us. It’s usually a combination of these things:

Appreciation – we start to see the situation for exactly what it is, with a new, glitter-dusted appreciation. It isn’t fake or sugar-free vanilla – it’s very real and deeply comforting. For me I’ve felt it wash over me like “This is terrible but I’ve never been as strong as I am right now to handle this.” or “This is the worst timing but my family is here and they can help me.”

Overwhelming Clarity – this is always very welcome. What’s essential starts to glow with an energetic resonance – the space for bull shit is negligible. It’s kind of like when you’re in a really crowded space and all of a sudden you see a way to make it to where you want to go. The seas part.

Best Next Steps – you’ll start saying “I could.” The Best Next Steps start flowing to you. You start to say things like “maybe I could…” and “let’s do…” and what felt like an anxious pit of avoidance starts to feel like something in the rearview, and you’re not just considering Best Next Steps, you’re taking them.

And yes, Miracles – I’m taking a big exhale here – you may want to join me – the kind that really empties the entire contents of your lungs (go on, give it a shot) and when you breathe in, something new may join you. What are miracles? I think they’re gifts from our angels and guides. I wish that they were always cancer-healing in size, but mostly my experience with miracles is I got to hug someone in a parking lot when I didn’t think I had community, and it completely shifted everything. Or I got a good parking space. Or I did find the person who I am certain I’ve spent many lifetimes with. Or my Mom calls. Or I added the perfect amount of salt. Miracles.

And now it’s like this starts all of this because it’s a re-entry point into the life where you’re at right now.

You may not like it. I know. I have been there. You are not alone.

But it is yours to do with it what you wish. And you are here, and that is just such a wild improbability – and if you somehow found THIS – if we somehow found one another in this lifetime – out of all of the lifetimes, I have to believe that it is not an accident.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver

You now get to find out.

What I hope: I hope you choose to be more loving – first with yourself and then with everyone else. I hope you take a shower and put on your favorite outfit, use the good soap, thank you elbows and your toes. I hope you make your bed with fresh sheets so all day long you’re anticipating that feeling at the end of your day. I hope you make a box that has stuff you’re going to deal with later because you can’t deal with everything all at once and you don’t deserve to trip over everything while you’re making a new way. I hope you eat something that came from the earth – like a piece of fruit or a slice of cucumber and while you’re there have some water. Our bodies love water. And then I hope you look a little bit around and see that glitter dusted appreciation I mentioned and before long it’s going to be everywhere you look.

You may not be ready. And that’s okay too. But when you are you can say And now it’s like this and you will be.